Normally, when talking about work/life balance, the discussion centers around things like making sure workers go home on time, take vacations and make it to their kids' after-school events without interruption.
But sometimes the "life" part of that balance is about a worker's end-of-life concerns. After all, illness can strike anyone at just about any time, and there's a very real possibility that at some point you'll need to deal with a coworker or colleague who who comes down with a condition that leads to a relatively quick death or a prolonged diagnoses that will bring about that person's eventual passing.
How does one deal with a coworker who is in the last stages of their life or have recently passed?
Recently, I took part in a virtual meeting where all four women in the meeting had a mutual coworker and acquaintance in such a stage of life. Their interests turned from the work at hand to how help their coworker cope during her journey. This is not something you will find in a process manual, nor does leadership tend to prepare their employees for this situation.
In the middle of the conversation, the meeting organizer (my client), all of a sudden said, “Kristen, you are a survivor, what did people do for you while you were in recovery.” Although caught off guard, I was quickly reminded of the people in my community who were so giving, and what meant the most:
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- Food – either homemade or delivered from a restaurant, can help when you or your family are dealing with issues bigger than what's for dinner.
- Items that could provide distraction such as needlepoint, knitting or reading. Often medical appointments come with a lot of downtime.
- Items that could provide relief of pain such as homemade cool/hot pack that had seeds and relieving scents.
All of the women quickly agreed they would be able to do all of the above, and together, created a schedule as to who would do what when. Through the tears, a smile appeared knowing their ideas would mean so much.
A serious illness or death not only takes its toll on employees, it also reaches productivity. A study conducted by the Grief Recovery Institute found the annual loss of productivity due to grieving employees exceeds $75 billion, and it can impact workplace performance in multiple ways:
- 90% reported a reduction in their ability to concentrate following the loss.
- 90% were more likely to get injured due to this lack of concentration.
- 70% reported an increased use or new use of alcohol or mood-altering substances.
If you are in a leadership position, perhaps this plan of action will help. Developed by VandePol Crisis Response Services, it follows the acronym of ACT:
- Acknowledge: Accurately convey the facts and avoid conjecture; acknowledge that not everyone will be impacted in exactly the same way; acknowledge that the employee's death has an impact on you personally.
- Communicate: Provide information with compassion and competence in order to reduce the likelihood of rumors, build trust and provide a sense of order that supports moving forward.
- Transition: Communicate an expectation of recovery that creates a hopeful vision of the future; communicate flexible and reasonable accommodations as people progress to a new normal.
As a gentle reminder, moving forward as a team is crucial. And competent, compassionate leadership will a long way in the eyes of those they lead.
In reality, there is no “one size fits all” method to coping with this type of grief, and there certainly is no timetable. Bottom line: The loss of a coworker has a significant impact on the workplace and those in it. One must remember it will affect each person in a different way. Some will be quite obviously affected by the loss, while others may not show any emotion at all. Likewise, some will want to talk about it, others not so much. Everyone’s level of privacy is unique, so in closing, just be kind to one another.
Kristen Asleson is owner of Midwest Virtual Assistants. Send comments and ideas to news@postbulletin.com .
The Trust Project
