Architect and Project Manager Gregory Swinton recently took over as JEDI (Justice Equity Diversity and Inclusion) Program Lead for international architecture firm NBBJ. To cultivate an equitable work environment, Swinton began organizing diversity-related trainings and conversations for his team.
Swinton shares some of his biggest takeaways from DEI/Conflict Resolution trainings and how he learned to practically implement them in his role. He also took some time to address challenges that remain, with hopes that his experience navigating such complex dynamics would resonate with listeners who may feel equally lost in this space.
Speech Bubble Puzzle and Discussion
Important Takeaways
One of the most important lessons for Swinton was the significance of gaining awareness – including learning about bias and understanding the biases that live within everyone. From there, Swinton and his team felt that the best way implement action would be to start with meaningful conversations on race.
Given the sensitive nature of the discussions, Swinson and his subgroup focus heavily on preparation (even going so far as to schedule rehearsals). They begin by asking themselves the following questions:
What is it that we hope to get out of this conversation?
What do we want from the team within the conversation?
What would we like to see from the team outside of the conversation?
Once the conversations are underway, Swinton has learned to lean into, and even call out, tense emotions.
“Even calling it out begins to take some of the tension out,” He reflects. “Tension is not a bad thing. Things can get tense because everybody is passionate.”
Despite positive intentions on behalf of Swinton and his team, emotionally charged conversations can go still go awry, especially when there is a large group of people involved. This is due to the immense complexity of human emotion and interaction, which becomes magnified as more individuals are involved.
It was these challenging moments that led Swinton to wonder: how do you have difficult, yet effective, conversations in groups? Beyond that, what is the best language for navigating high emotions during these discussions?
The Key to Effective Group Dialogue
As mentioned above, group dialogue is particularly challenging for obvious reasons: more participants mean more possibilities for the conversation’s direction. The trick: there should always be a facilitator. The trick within the trick: this must be done in a way that is unassuming and doesn’t feel like a power grab to other participants.
The best way to do this is to slow things down and ask some basic questions.
What are we here to accomplish today?
What are the challenges that make it more difficult for us to accomplish this thing?
Asking these questions will help the group come to a mutual understanding of the problem they are seeking to solve together. Deploying this strategy will also mean stopping to revisit the goal whenever a new person joins the discussion.
Avoiding Accusatory Language
As Swinton noted, oftentimes well-meaning questions can become inflammatory when emotions are running high. Race and bias are sensitive topics – and can compel individuals to become defensive of their perspectives.
To avoid an undertone of accusation, there are 3 general suggestions:
First, avoid asking questions that start with “why”. By nature, these questions can sound accusatory even when they aren’t meant to be.
Second, lead with a disclaimer. Before you get to the actual question, explain to the person why you are asking. By clarifying your intentions, you are helping to eliminate any misperceived assumptions.
Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of “question softeners”. These are phrases that you can insert before a question that will ideally keep others from feeling threatened by what you have to say. For example, research shows that by simply adding “out of curiosity” before a question, people automatically (and almost inexplicably) feel less defensive. Another great option is “help me understand.”
Remain Curious
Conflict resolution is inherently difficult. It’s important to keep this in mind as you facilitate difficult conversations in the workplace – there will be moments of tension. The key is to lean into discomfort with curiosity, remembering that success doesn’t necessarily mean being “right” but rather coming to a place of understanding.
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be persuasive?” Swinton encourages listeners to ponder. “Do you want to make a point, or do you want to be able to open some channels for better communication?”
