When Jim Smith (name changed) worked for a public relations, marketing and communications agency in Midtown, he worked for a boss who channeled the fiendish Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada.”
“One time she called an account coordinator ‘Long Island white trash’ in front of the entire floor because she left at 6:15 p.m. — our day ended at 6 p.m. She would walk in every day and announce how many [doses of the stimulant] Adderall she had taken. Each time, I — and the rest of the office — became overcome with crippling anxiety.”
He also witnessed the CEO fake crying, immediately morphing into laughter after firing an employee for no reason in front of staffers. “I was genuinely terrified,” says Smith.
At the boutique firm, no one felt safe reporting this inappropriate behavior.
“You couldn’t trust anyone,” says Smith. “Everything would get back to her — that’s how her minions sold their souls.”
Smith says turnover was 100 percent, yet “leaving was the hardest thing I did. Everyone who works for her gets Stockholm syndrome.”
Recently, the spotlight has once again focussed on noxious workplaces, including allegations of foul play behind the scenes at Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show. Ten former employees and one current employee have stepped forward with complaints of racism, intimidation and being told by their managers to not talk directly to DeGeneres, in addition to allegations of sexual misconduct.
Unfortunately, no industry is immune to bad behavior. Even when working from home, employees can face rudeness via Zoom calls or expectations of being on call 24/7.
According to Mark Spund, an employment attorney at Davidoff Hutcher & Citron in Midtown, if your workplace is hell, keep a diary.
“At least you have something in writing,” he says. “The more specific they are, the stronger your case is. If somebody’s harassing me and I have it in writing, it’s almost verbatim on the day it happened as opposed to being three months later and trying to remember what was said.”
The next step involves speaking up. “If it’s a co-employee, go to your supervisor,” says Spund. “If it’s the higher-ups — such as the allegations against Ellen’s executive producers — then you have to go to HR directly.”
If your company doesn’t have an HR department or the owner of the company causes the problems, you still have recourse. “File a complaint with the New York State Division of Human Rights or the New York City Commission on Human Rights,” says Spund.
Ali Fazal, senior director of marketing at Hibob in Tribeca, which helps companies create positive work environments, says that change comes from employees escalating things. “Don’t discount how much power you have as an individual contributor,” he says. “New York City is the pinnacle of so many industries — we have the opportunity to lead by example.”
Unhealthy workplaces can have disastrous consequences for the employer, too, so it’s important for companies to create anonymous tip lines and address complaints.
“It’s a huge economic liability — nobody wants to do business with companies known to be toxic,” says Fazal. “It’s as big of a deal as if you’re running a factory with unsafe equipment.”
There are varying degrees of toxicity, ranging from sexual harassment, racial discrimination and physical or verbal abuse, down to a boss who takes credit for your work. While the latter still creates a bad environment, resolution typically involves a conversation between HR and the supervisor, while the former actions are more serious and require an investigation.
Sometimes, toxicity is the result of high stakes. Timothy Jones (name changed) worked for a global investment bank and financial services company filling quotas of high-asset acquisitions.
“They made it clear that most people wouldn’t make it three years,” he says. “When I started, there were other people in my class but one by one, they all got fired.”
For Laura Santos (name changed), resigning from a communications firm in Soho meant she was no longer screamed at or fearful of getting fired. “We often had employees start and quit within the week,” she says. “Unpaid interns sometimes lasted less than that.”
If you’re in a similar situation, but feel that quitting is not an option due to the pandemic, focus on getting your job done and meeting expectations while emphasizing self-care.
“You only have so much control at the moment,” says Jennifer Musselman, a psychotherapist and executive coach. “Instead, use this time wisely to create opportunities for yourself when the economy bounces back, or by finding pleasure in other areas of your life that you might have neglected.”
Support is another key to survival.
“Talk to a psychotherapist or skilled executive coach,” says Musselman. “Verbalizing the problems to someone skilled in listening or to role-play difficult conversations can relieve anxiety and make you feel more prepared.”
It’s also helpful to remind yourself that this situation is temporary. “We’re at the end of the era of ‘suck it up and deal with it,’ ” says Fazal. “People are starting to realize that you can be successful, active, engaged in the workplace without having to deal with any of that [toxicity].”
The realization can empower you to pursue healthier employment.
“Life is too short to remain unhappy in a job that is making your life even shorter,” says Smith. “The risk is worth the reward, and you will get that reward faster than you think because you’re smart, capable and marketable. More people will want you than you ever thought possible — it feels good to feel valued!”